random blogging
i jus realise, that there is no one whom i can actually talk openly about things to. ='(
even the conversations with my so called 'good friends' from JC all ultimately and definitely leads to promos, studying, mugging, blah blah..
urgh.
searching for an answer
11:55 PM
爱失控
时间
一分一秒被偷走
所谓的永久
被曾经取代后
变成恶魔
手里握着多余的温柔
独自反复思索
收藏保留
随风飞走
说来轻松
自由
是否会比较好过
原来没有
成全的背后总有
痛苦在招手
记忆停留在最初时候
星光已不再闪烁
无话可说
继续走
还是朋友
让你走
我的爱失控
藏在幸福快乐的背后
是我
逃避退缩
放开手
对爱不再有奢求
是非对错不想再多说
眼神交会时候
出卖承诺
泪在留
想通
躲在黑暗的出口
难以捉摸
是缘份的作用
导致失控
还是孤独一时的冲动
抹去爱情轮廓
故事内容
谁补充
安静的尘封
世界的旋律因你而转动
就算再失控
落空
音符交织感动
就够
让你走
我不再是我
感受不到心跳的触碰
占有
转眼成空
放开手
对爱不再有奢求
徘徊梦中模糊脸孔
遗留在角落
不再轻易地经过
i realise i'm falling in love with this song. wad de. i'm suppose to be doing maths now. but because of this song.
haiz. my life is all messed up by u. =X
11:30 PM
GP ROCKS MY SOCKS!!~
hahhax..finally, gp is over. i never thought i would actually study for gp. peer pressure has made me wasted the whole of thursday reading gp notes. bleahx.
recently i have this bad habit of falling asleep on my chair. and i always get scolded by my mom(for some weird reason she feels sorry for me sleeping in that awkward position). just now i spotted my mom sleeping on the living chair(while watching tv) and i attempted to get it back at her. so i asked her "ni zai kan dian shi huh?' and she replied "mei you, dian shi zai kan wo" in her dreams..-.-
ok not funny.. enough of leng diao stuffs.celebrate and embrace GP+)
11:18 PM
hmm..this is suppose to be the entry for 18th Sept..though its 19th Sept now.
STRESSED.
i'm still feeling stressed, even after what you said to me.
stressed by PW this time. i seriously feel i'm doing nothing.
garrrr.
i don't like this.
am i talking to myself?
i think i am.
haiz.
i'd promised myself not to feel stressed out again.
shall make another promise.
move at your own pace, meichen=)
`just when i was about to go crazy, u came along and upset my life totally
1:10 AM
SURPRISE!
woohoo..very surprised today..shocked, stunned and funny=X
okay, i'm going mad. the pre-exam stress. well, still had theory lesson in the morning so..bleahx. couldn't count properly. couldn't blame me=X
anyway, STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards. so yar.. DESSERTS!
jiayou jiayou jiayou~
9:16 PM
ZzZzZzZzZzZz
Feeling: tired. stress. wanna sleep.
Mood: confused.
hahahax..today mugging for around 10hours. actually not really mug. just trying to catch up with my homework. there was quite abit, but do until i very happy..ahahhax..getting crazy.
watching channel u now..the stupid show where everyone tries to xian4 hai4 each other. wahahhha.. laugh until my face burst.
suddenly feel very relaxed. no more piano, just full time mugging. though i know my pace is like super far behind others..=X
by the way, yesterday yesterday my blog was down. haiz. couldnt vent my anger. anyway, jiayou in mugging.. to myself and everyone else mugging=D
i only have you to thank=)
9:38 PM
just came back from piano exam. yeah. confirm fail this time..
he gave me a few normal scales to begin with. and i couldn't play D minor for some weird reason. restarted 3 times.. 3 times. DEAD.
secondly, he gave me LEFT HAND B flat major AND chromatics. crazy.. this is my weakest part and he actually gave me in my weakest hand. bleahx. couldn't play.
arpegios(how do u spell it?) was ok. but he gave me ALL BLACK KEYS. which i was praying it won't be that case.
next, pieces. my first piece got stuck. stuck like anything. and the arpegios part of the piece was like errr.. none of the notes were correct.
second and third piece were ok..
BUT. sight reading. haiz. i counted quavers as crochets cuz i couldnt read the note in time. so. wrong.
WORST PART: aural test. piangggggg. think sing the lower part was ok. but the cadence. i stunned cuz i was still counting. and he asked me "DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY QUESTION?" oh dear. shit. he look so cross.
modulation.. the first one i anyhow guess. the second one, he screamed at me "I GAVE YOU STARTING ON A MINOR KEY, HOW CAN IT POSSIBLY MODULATE TO RELATIVE MINOR???!!" DEAD AND VERY DEAD AGAIN
discussion of a piece he played.. he played this chinese like piece and asked me the period and composer. and asked me why i think this way. so i begin to blabber blabber about the style, texture and blah blah blah.. BUT ALL THE TIME HE WAS LOOKING AT HIS WATCH!
you know why? cuz i'm the last candidate before his lunch. he's probably hungry. think he hasnt heard a single word i said.
thats it. end of my piano life.
GONE CASE.
rarrrrrrrrr...
2:48 PM
wow..
this is getting on my nerves..madness..
jus took some drugs to make myself sleep well later. i'm too vulnerable to anxiety and nervousness.
what am i talking about?
anyway, its like 11 hours and 45 mins to piano exam.. yupx.. countdown. super scared. thats all i can say.. not confident at all. gonna anyhow sing for the examiner. hope the examiner is a he..ahhahax..
[edited 12.13am. exactly 12 hours to my piano exam..ahah]
meichen is learning to smile becos of u=)
11:22 PM
decided to keep a blog from now onwards because i realise there is this need for me to pen down my screams and shouts, which i will otherwise say out verbally and this may hurt others. bleahx..
life is really getting too tough for me. everyday is like going through some turmoil or whatever you call it. its killing me. killing my soul. i'm like a walking zombie in school can? when can i ever recover from this state of shit?
arghhhh.. luckily i still have friends who make me smile. thanx. yar, like yuwei who was talking crap to me this late morning when i was very upset. though i really have no idea what she was talking about (yet she was facing me and seems like talking to me), i really thank her for all that crap. yeap.
i think my horrible temper has been acting up recently. sorry to all those whom i have screamed at. i don't mean it, but its just that...just that my emotion abit unstable=X
and i thank u for that encouragement. it really surprised me=)
11:47 PM
