not blogging for no reason this time round. really have alot to say today.
today was a sucky day. bomb after bomb, shock after shock, sobs followed by tears. was crying like a baby by the second period. at first when i looked at my paper, i was utterly shocked. couldn't believe my eyes. i really did studied, how come its still like that? not to worry, i'm not those who complains over not getting a B or A. i'm talking about passing. i jus want to have a more than borderline pass. at least give me a D or something. but, whatever. after that shock, miss lee came over and talked to me. i really really couldn't take it anymore. i swear, i really really did studied hard for econs. somehow, my brain wasn't meant to think in the econs way i guess.
once i started, i couldn't stop at all. it continued all the way till lunch. and even after lunch. those were tears of disappointment, nothing else. why can't it be tears of happiness? didn't even want to face my bio paper. and maths paper. same for chem. for each paper i took back(except bio, which yuwei took for me), i faced them down, not daring to look at the scores. after preparing for the worst, i took a deep breath and scanned the marks.
what i couldn't stand was that hissing sound that some people like to make when they get back their papers. no offence, but i jus hope those people will jus keep their mouth shut, and keep ur happiness inside ur heart for that moment. celebration can come later when everyone is feeling better. yah, u have good grades, but what about basic sensitivity towards others? watery eyes all around and there u are hissing.. for a mo i felt molten lava in myself.
the whole day was dark and grey. even the skies seem to be crying for me. the society and its horrible mindset, as xingyu has said, is jus too much. no good grades, no good future. when can we ever get out of this unhealthy lifestyle? education. bane or boon? seriously, MOE should revise and attempt this essay.
shall stop reproaching myself. i know i have tried my very best. though the society doesn't award efforts, but i do.
