_______x.I'm The Lonely Girl*

Saturday, February 28, 2009

everytime i mention this to someone, my tears will just roll down uncontrollably.

especially when someone tries to console me.

yeah actually this week was quite happening, not just studying for ygw of course, but many other stuff going on, like going for tuition on tues and ... and something happened.

and then it went on and on, and i think it will end on wed. wells.

and i got a new pianO! it's not brand new; it's second hand, but i love it. lovely, and clear with a tinge of sweetness in the tone. woots.

went for tuition today and the sun at 3pm as usual is making my head ache like crazy. yes until now. and met up with a new friend. whom i think is a waste that he's leaving.

met up with sis liyan ytd and ate BENTEN. rocks man. i really love the ice cream. i swear. not just looking at the waiter. ahahha. but the noodles not that nice actually.

okies enough of random ranting. tata~

10:25 PM

Sunday, February 22, 2009

of mao-dun-ology.

i realised in life there are so so so many things which are so so so mao dun.

and seeing other people's mao-dun-ness makes me feel so urghhh. fake-ness.

so glad to have true friends around who really cared. to tide over this period.

and i realise these people are the ones who have been 'stuck' together with me for many many years!

and you guys are my sunflower! =D

flower from jm!

12:52 AM

Friday, February 20, 2009

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地
跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

woah i think i answered the facebook notes question wrongly. this song should be more suitable.

haiz, maybe i'm too straight forward and i suppose i can't expect everyone to be as blunt as me right? and to be as introvert as me.

but i still don't agree with people who don't mean what they say. ooops. it's my lao mao bing again of saying whatever that i feel.

maybe i should keep everything to myself instead. =X

>.<

i hope i can recover.

9:54 PM

Monday, February 16, 2009

i forgot i needed to blog, too much things has been going on in my mind.

i put on a strong front, to avoid getting hurt, but what do i get back in return? more pain.

i give my friends 101% trust, but in the end the outcome is far from expected.

i stopped talking to you and put you away in my list, because i'm afraid i'll 越陷越深。

i write emo entries, because i feel i have no one else i can confide in. no one.

i feel like quitting school, because of a hundred and one reasons. unspoken of.

secrets. why should they be announced to everyone?

9:22 PM

Thursday, February 12, 2009

hahaha i blog whenever i'm emo, angry or feel very strongly about certain things.

this entry is no exception.

firstly, it's the stress from school work. like people have already started memorising, or even memorised that few things laoshi told us to, but i'm still so lost in class! my books and notes remain the way they are after lectures. i'm such a grrrr. procrastinator. and the reason? cuz i just suck at time management. ahhh!

secondly, it's the stress from driving. my driving is really super lousy and i dunno how?! jiu ming arh!

thirdly, my sis's wedding is really kind of time consuming despite me not being very involved in it. but still this whole week is crap.

and i love attituding pple. hahahaha. for some reason. which i feel very very very very very very sad after that. AHHHH.

okies off to procrastinate more. i'm so shitty.

11:51 PM

Saturday, February 07, 2009

as i watch my sister pack her things away and weeping like a little girl, i began to wonder.

eternal happiness. these two words should never come together as a descriptive word.

i hope sis is will really be happy, cuz i won't want my invisible tears to go wasted. putting up a strong front and telling her she's moving on to a better place for a better life.

ok this should be a joyous occassion, but i really have no idea why i'm so vexed over this! ahh. mixed feelings.

i saw something after school today which really saddened me. and upon reaching home my heart sank further. maybe happiness is really in our own hands.

12:06 AM

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

放弃，也许是最好的办法。

放弃，也许是对自己最公平的选择。

放弃了就快乐多一些。

hahahax feeling a little emo suddenly. it's always like that but i just can't control! sometimes the stronger you appear to be, the weaker you are actually. the happier i appear, the sadder i am actually. to divert attention away from the unhappiness.

that sounds scary. but i guess thats what makes a human human. complexity.

12:27 AM

Sunday, February 01, 2009

absolutely given up.

on alot of things.

the most important being studying for ygw. wahahha. i hate it please. i hate memory work, plus i hate chinese. add them up together, they make me puke. and moreover it's festive season and a sunday and it's a lazy sunday afternoon! i feel like zzz-ing after playing cake mania! awhahah. can you imagine i actually play such stuff?

the most most important being i've given up waiting and waiting. what was the thing that laosh said about 期待? i can't remember, but anyway, it's just so not worth it. hehehe so just be happy!

time flies and it's the 1st day of the 2nd month of the year 2009. zoom zoom and i'll be in china in no time.

i miss my old old friends! s06, 2ians and my really really old pri sch frens. woah...! +)

5:23 PM